just keep swimming. just keep swimming.

I thought we'd have it all done and over with by last week, but boy who was I kidding. Stuff like this never ends. It only gets worse. I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of assignments. weeks after weeks lecturers throw us tasks we hardly have time thinking about doing before we get thrown another. Its like trying to dig a hole, only to have someone fill it with sand again and he's filling it from behind you. Or no, wait, you're in that 6ft' hole, and he's filling it with sand. And you're suffocating.

I'm just so tired I can barely function. I've been working myself dry until I fall asleep with books on my face surrounded by piles of notes and wake up with pen marks all over my body. Ika says she sees me giving 180%  but then why the hell doesn't it feel enough! Why have I been stuck unable to budge since Friday? Why do I feel like I just wanna crawl under my bed and rot there in the dark than have to face life every single day.

I've got so much going on in my mind until my forehead scrunches and my brain huts that I have no time to attend to matters of the heart. I've got so much I want to feel but I have to hold it all back.Our conversation wasn't over, our hearts they never stopped. We separated without a solution and the problem just hangs above us  like a dark cloud desperate to burst with rain. But I try hard to keep the cloud at bay, buy us time for I feel as if our love is on a time limit. Like one day, when the timer rings, like a puffed up souffle right out of the oven, the cloud will burst, and we would both get wet. 

I had decided that I wouldn't let it bother me anymore though, because the world had bigger problems than my little dissapointed heart. But I can't stop thinking about this. I can't stop thinking about you. Because no matter what I do, my mind always bring me back to you.