What I never told you.

what I should have said, no I never told you, I just held it in

I miss everything about you.

We are all unkind from time to time. We all do things we desperately wish we could undo. Those regrets just become part of who we are, along with everything else. To spend time trying to change that, well, it’s like chasing clouds.

I wish I had told you to stay.

It's got nothing to do with ego. I threw that away a long time ago. I wish I had begged you to stay. But you know I was never the type to stop anyone from leaving.

I believe that everyone is entitled to their own happiness, and if they're not happy with you anymore, who are you to stop them for being happy with someone else, right? If you really cared, you'd be happy for them. Even if the person making them smile, making them laugh, isn't you anymore.

Sometimes, the ones who leave, they hurt too. Taking that step takes courage. Walking away doesn't always mean you're a coward, sometimes it means you're being brave and if you decide to go, then I respect that, because I've never been brave enough to leave. I've always been the one that get's left behind.

So even if it kills me inside, even if I spend my nights crying wishing you were still here, I just can't ask you to come back. But every single say, I wish you were still here. I hope you understand that.

So please don't think I never fought for you. Maybe now I know that you want to fix things, maybe we can try. After all, I have nothing left to lose, right? Just oh so much to gain.

I’m sorry for a lot of things, but most of all that I never got the chance to tell you that, no matter what happens next, I’ll never be anything but grateful for every moment I spent with you. And even though I keep fumbling for the right words, all I really wanted to say was thank you.

Love and friendship. They are what make us who we are, and what can change us, if we let them.