how i wish to have you near... i wish you were here.

I've been wasting my days sorting all my things out since there's virtually no room to stuff anything anywhere here. I kinda have to get rid of a lot of stuff and clean the room before Balqees gets back for the weekend. Time has been moving pretty slow, and so have I. Mum gave me this folder which she wants to turn into a bunch of slides for her lectures, she's given me the instructions and all but it's kinda hard to simplify something you don't really understand, so I've been quite slow with that. 

I've also been feeling like quite the farmer. You see, Mums chicks have turned into chickens. I don't know what exactly Mum has planned for them but since we don't really have a chicken coop they've been staying the the same place since they were chicks and the palce is getting a little to small for the fatties so me and Hidayah have to let them out everyday, let them walk around the front porch and poop here and there so they can be happy and not feel abused. We have to clean their place, feed them and sometimes when they get too smelly, give them baths. I just can't wait for them to start laying eggs! Hidayah's Albert is doing fine. We still don't know if it's an Albert or an Alberta cz it's still too young but oh well, whatever orientation he chooses to be, we'll still love him with all our hearts. hehehe...

Oh, I got a Friend Request on Facebook just now. There were no mutual friends so I checked the page out and I think it's her cz I kinda recognize some names on her friends list.I  don't get it why she keeps trying to add me up. I don't think it's a very good idea. It doesn't matter if shes adding me up to be friends or to snoop around, I just don't think it's a good idea for her, and for me. I mean, the last time I stumbled upon her page, I saw things that hurt me and made me cry. I'm not so sure if there are things on my page that would upset her and make her cry but if there are, well, I just don't want to be the bad person here. I haven't told him yet, and that's because I haven't been able to get a hold of him these past few days. But that's normal, and I miss him very much. But I'm not so sure I wanna tell him cz the last time it happened and I told him he got really pissed and I don't want him to be angry.

Anyway, half-heartedly, I'm gonna say, she can have him. I'm in no position whatsoever to fight for something (or in this case someone) who isn't mine. I've kind of got a feeling this is all gonna end anyway. I'm just getting prepped up for the day it happens so it won't have to hurt so much. It sound silly, I know and it feels oh so sad. And I wish there were words I could say to make him stay. I love you won't ever be enough. I would say more if only I know what more was. But nonetheless, I'll never make anyone stay if they didn't want to...

because in your eyes I'd like to stay