bitter and gritty.

I hate coffee. I hate the taste it has when you're sipping it, and I hate the taste that still lingers after. Bitter, and gritty. For many nights in the past week I've had to force it down my throat. You see, I'm the type of person that takes a few sips of coffee and can't sleep for days. It's a horrible thing to have to do to my body. It leaves me groggy in the mornings, and gives me splitting headaches when I'm still awake at night. I turn bitter and gritty- just like the after taste- but sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.

The workload has been wicked. There's just so much to do, yet so little time. And it doesn't help that our group almost always ends up being no. 1 when it comes to presenting and micro-teaching and stuff. There have been days when we would have to present/micro-teach 2-3 Lesson Plans a day. Like WTH. We're exhausted. We're effing exhausted. It feels like we're on loop, like all this work will never end. There are days when we get the chance, we get away of here, even if it's just for a few hours. Just me and the babes. Ironic how the most insane people are actually the ones keeping me sane. I thank God for them :)

The other day I nearly went nuts when my laptop charger busted and I sent my laptop to the shop at PP and they said I had to change my motherboard. BULLSHYT. I told Nana and called Role and Faiz and they all said it was BULLSHYT. I ended taking it back home dissapointed. I called Mum crying and Mum told me I could take her laptop back here so I could do my work while Abah finds me a new charger but I tried using Ede's charger on my laptop and it worked! Yippie yi yeay! But then since her laptop in the small one, it took2 hours to fully charge my laptop (and I had to shut it down while charging) and it only lasted for an hour. How terribly sad. But it was better than nothing, and at least I didn't have to change my motherboard! Damn them. I could have lost EVERYTHING!

The practicum letter has been sent, and the school said they have faxed the reply but Mr. Mus has been on sick leave for 2 days so he never had the time to check it. I am terribly nervous but all that's left to do is wait. OMGOMGOMG. I can harldy remember the day when I just couldn't wait to go out there and teach. I felt so ready. So enthusiastically ready. But I'm not so sure anymore now. I feel as if I will never be ready. I wonder what happened along the way...

Today is the gaduation of my seniors. Ayie, Kogi and Kak Yati. It kinda feels sad somehow. Maybe because upon graduation, it means that they're done with this part of their life, and now it's time to move on to the next. I wonder what it's gonna feel like come my time. Whats gonna happen after that? Will I remember everything I learned here? Will I leave feeling happy I've left this God forsaken place? Or will I leave with a longing to come back and stay? What will happen to my friends? Will we still be in touch? Will they remember me 10 years later?

I don't know.

p/s: congratulations Ayie, Kogi, and Kak Yati. I hope life treats you well from now on :)