About the poem, much thanks to Asip, for telling me to find a beat, prolly the best advice on poem writing I've ever had, and Faiz, for the line he helped me with 'so that tears of hurt sparkle within', and bearing with like 100 versions of it. sorry. hehe...
Oh, last night was listening to an old school mate talk about how miserable his life is cz of his very psychotic girlfriend, he then asked me, hows life?
A natural reaction to such a question would be: it's ok. And it was that. But then, I felt the need for a sudden outburst and continued; no actually, it's not ok. I'm not gonna get hostel. We got a house but my dad want's me to get a place at kampung. I fuckin need a fuckin car. I'm sick and tired of depending on other people who when you ask for help say 'ok', but then roll their eyes when you're not looking. I did so bad in the finals, I think I flunked half my papers and I'm terrified I'm gonna have to repeat. Mum want's me to hurry up and get my operation done with but how am I supposed to learn to drive or play the guitar with my hands all wrapped up and oozing with blood. One of my friends wants to emancipate herself. I'm in no mood to comment more on that. The guy I've been crushing on is madly in love with another girl it kills me inside but I like him too much I just can't let go yet. The dude that likes me and has been waiting for me for over a year wants to know how much longer when I've told him not to wait and even if I was ready, it wouldn't necessarily mean I'll be ready for him. My dad's getting a biopsy done next week cz we're scared his cancer is back. I'll be there to teman him and I'm scared I wont be able to handle the results.
So no, life's not okay.
But you know what, screw everything else. I just want my dad to be okay. I really do :(
No comments:
Post a Comment
words left unspoken.