L'esprit de Escalier: Maybe being apart is the best way to stay together.

Mayon couldn't get me last night cz he had to help plan for his brothers engagement. He felt really guilty, but I wasn't angry. It wasn't like he was ditching me on purpose or anything. I'm a big girl (just not big enough to sleep alone in an empty house. hehe), I would figure something out- which I did. I went back with Asip and Jack came with. I just wish I had followed them for a drink after that though cz Abah changed the lock to the front door and forgot to tell me, and no one was expecting me to be home till late night so I had to wait outside till Hidayah got back from school to get in -_-"

So here I am. back home. Finally.
If you think I don't sound too happy, its because I'm not.
Summing up the whole sem, to me, it has been horribly ugly.

Loads have been going on this sem. I've found out how selfish some people can be when it comes to exam tips. There was this one girl who didn't get tips cz people deiced to withheld it from her so we pitied her and gave her ours, for the next paper, we asked if she had any tips and she said none but we later found out that she got the leaked questions and came out of the exam hall grinning. There were others of course, like the girl who wouldn't even share with her closest friends or that guy who asked me for tips but when he gave his, he gave only the title of the topic when he had a specified version of the tips. There was even this one girl who we met at Taska, she asked me for tips for the next paper. We exchanged numbers and she kept calling for tips. When I sent mine, she said, "haha... thanks!", then when I asked her if she had any tips, then only did she forward hers to me.

People puzzle me so much sometimes. But when Sara said God doesn't help people like that, I decided I shouldn't give a phuck. I still gave whatever tips I got to whoever who asked because I believe that knowledge is the one thing you should never be stingy about, ever.

Then there were copy cats who steal your work, assignments, ideas, heck even style, and claim it as theirs. I wanted to murder one person when kept going on about great how THEY had planned a certain event, how it was THEIR plan and how without THEM, it wouldn't have happened when the whole idea was CLEARLY MINE. Well, that person can go to hell..

I've also discovered how ugly it is to have friends bicker amongst themselves and you be right in the middle of the whole mess, and how much uglier it is to be on not-so-good terms with your own friends. At one point, I even thought I had lost one friend, but it wasn't until right at the very end that I discovered I still had him. And that he had been missing me just as much as I had been missing him :)

But sadly though, I lost for real another friend. But I've accepted that and it's okay. Because when you discover those who have stuck with you through thick and thin, you realize how unimportant the absence of the ones who were never there really are, and you start to appreciate the ones you have and cherish them even more for sticking through.

It's kinda like when I moved into my house at block D4. Because there were so many people bunking in at my house, I couldn't afford taking out all my stuff and arranging them like usual because everybody had their things too. So to avoid cramping the whole place with stuff, I decided I had to keep some in my luggage bag under the bed or in that box we have in the living room, thinking I could just whip things out when I needed them but packing to get back home at the end of the semester, I discovered just how many (things) I really didn't need. I made do with what I had and I survived just fine. For next sem, I've decided to keep with me the ones that serve me well and chuck the things that clutter, things that were kept collecting dust under the bed and were never really thought about, the ones I never really needed.

well, there are more stuff, but maybe it's not worth lamenting on the bad so much. Maybe I should learn to focus on the good.

Anyway, I got so hungry late last night so I decided to make myself a peanut butter and banana sandwich to munch while watching TV. I put the plate on the couch because I went down to get a drink. When I got back, mum was in my place, I asked her where she had put my sandwhich and she asked me, "what sandwich?". A little annoyed I went, "Mummmmm.... cakaplaaa u makan sandwich iiii" and mum was like, "I tak makan sandwich you lahhh". I was like, "haih.." and went down to make another one. Suddenly I heard mum go, "Ikaaaaahhhhh!!... I know where your sandwich is!" I ran back up and to find mum standing up with my sandwich stuck to the back of her shirt. Mum had sat on my peanut butter and banana sandwich.